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Self Love


“The hardest person to love is yourself. If you can master that, you can master anything.”

Anne Magdalene

Recently, I did a group healing session via my facebook page, Anne Magdalene. As a result, one of the participants and I had an interesting conversation regarding love of thyself. We hear it all the time “You can’t fully love another until you love yourself” or something along those lines, and many of us are left thinking “I don’t have a clue how to love myself,” while others are convinced they fully love and accept themselves. Most of us suffer from some degree of lack of self-love and self-acceptance, and you are having this current human experience to learn about developing self-love, as well as a million other lessons. From personal experience, I have found loving myself to be the hardest form of love to develop. It is easy to love another person, especially a parent, a child, a spouse, but when we are faced with the task of finding a way to love and accept ourselves unconditionally, it can seem impossible.

So…….How do we get there?

Within each one of us, there is a core connection to the Source of Love, the infinity of that Love, and a desire to experience that Love on a multitude of levels, including for ourselves. So much of what you experience in your human experience is designed to teach and encourage you to find ways to express that love for yourself, because the truth is, the more you can love and accept yourself, the more you can love and accept others, not just those that are related to you, or who you are “supposed” to, but those who have no personal connection to you.

It is human nature to give love, as well as to seek love. There is nothing selfish or narcissistic about seeking love from others, but it is the nature in which we seek it that can become the problem. The less love you have for yourself, the more you will seek it in ways that damage your spirit, or the more you will try and fill the void of self-love with ways that weaken your spirit, because acknowledging you may lack love for yourself can be a very scary and vulnerable experience. When was the last time you looked in the mirror and said to yourself, “I love you totally and completely for everything you are.” When we are lacking self-love, it can be so subtle that we are not even remotely aware.

One of the first recommendations I make to people is to begin by paying very close attention to the internal monologue you have running in your head. What are the things you are hearing? Are you hearing “I’m no good at this…I’m going to look stupid if I ask for a raise, they won’t think I deserve it…I have so many wrinkles, look how old I’ve gotten…I’ve gotten so fat, look how big my _______ are….My husband/wife cheats because there’s something wrong with me…” The list goes on and on. These types of false beliefs keep you trapped in a cycle of self-loathing and lack of self-love. Only when you become aware of these subtle, negative thoughts can you begin to redirect your thoughts to more positive, loving thoughts.

Everything I possess within me, is within you, and everything you possess within you is within me. You may exhibit certain traits more profoundly than some of my traits. You may exhibit more confidence than I do, but that doesn’t mean that, at times, you are not insecure. I may exhibit more light-heartedness than you, but that doesn’t mean I am not burdened with sadness, fear, doubt….

So the next time you see a woman (or man) being used, exploited, taken advantage of, or mistreated, don’t spend time blaming her for what appears to be something she intentionally created, but instead, see her as a soul in need of love, especially self-love, and let it be a reminder to you, that the next time you are speaking negatively to yourself, or you are being treated less than what you deserve, it is less about what you intentionally created, and more about your false internal beliefs that keep the cycle of lack of self-love going.


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